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beard judge

beard judge
Deliberating beard judges. Photo by Gary Leonard

Where it all started. Dad in 1985.

Hey boy, i like your beard.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Chris


























Good facial hair occasionally creeps up on me when I'm busy at work being a robot (with a heart); for example, or riding my bicycle at Mach 10 like the 8 year old banshee I truly am.  Suddenly a face is different and I'm not sure why until I hear myself saying, "Nice beard"!  That's what happened with Chris, I see him and his family at the (job) café.  


It's sort of like collecting action figures or comic books for me.  Usually he is clean shaven so this is like a special edition!


Thank you Chris for taking the time out to answer my funny little Q & A and for buying one of my handmade love cards for Valentine's Day!



Q: How long have you had your beard this length?
A:  It is about 7-8 weeks with one clean up trim about 5-6 weeks in.

Q: Does your wife like it or hate it?  How about your kid(s)?
A: Wife is cool with it. I look lot older than her now so that works for her. Kids got used to it about 6 weeks in. Prefer a longer beard that doesn't "hurt their face".

Q: Is your beard soft or pokey?
A: Much softer now than the 1-3 week growth that hurts.

Q: What's the funniest thing that's happened involving your beard? (Besides me asking to take your picture!)
A: Funniest thing was probably when my daughter called me a monkey.

Q: Who is your beard idol? Fictional or non-fictional.
A:  Can't say I have one...although, C. Everett Coop rocked a strong one back in his surgeon general days. The Lorax has a sweet 'stache.

Q: What's your beard maintenance regimen?
A: Not a lot of maintenance...considered pomade to keep the wild ones tame but what's the point? Couldn't tell where the facial hair met the ear hair.

Q: Where and with whom do you feel most comfortable being yourself, bearded and all? 
Where and with whom do you not?
A: Most comfortable around people I don't know and people I know really well. Most uncomfortable for a bit at airports and in biz meetings.

Q: What do you do and do well?
A: Not sure of you mean for work or just in life. I'd say I'm a really good father/dad and I am good reading situations and trusting my instincts.

Q: Have you noticed people treating you differently with and without the beard? If yes, how so?
A:  I've never had the beard and it's interesting to me that everyone needs a reason for growing it and asks me "why"? One woman at the gym that is in a class I take and has never spoken to me asked me "why did you put this on (pointing to her face)?". She then told me i look a lot older. A good friend called me Chris Taliban instead of my last name Talbott and there have been a lot of sleeper cell comments. Just goes to show you how slowly we've progressed from 2001 and how people still have a bias against Muslim/MiddleEasterners esp men.






Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Ben

My buddy, Ben aka Aquaponic Farmer; Golden Trout enthusiast; Bass player/musical maker; SUPERdad and Colorado native/spokesman.  His beard is a mandatory accessory not just decorative, as it were.  In the winter it gets downright fur coat burl-ishly grand.  

I will be updating this post with his Q and A soon!

1st Annual Beard and Mustache Competition at the Silver Lake Library









I got to be a judge at this competition!  It was a fun family event with more beards than I've ever seen in one place.  Thank you to everyone that came and supported these creative individuals.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Kevin (again)

It's been a wonderful year filled with bacon, butter and golf.  My adorable friend made all these biscuits for Thanksgiving.  70 total.  Yes, those are jalapeños!  If you've been keeping up with all my sexy faces you'll remember Kevin from Thanksgiving 2010.  He's still a Nordic prince building houses and stuff.

Yes, he bakes.  Yes, he's still taken.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Joey

"Nice beard!" I told him.  (Shocker, right?) Creeped up on this nice guy in the parking lot of my favorite photo supply store.  He's a photographer and director's assistant...I think.

Joey reminds me of a very smart fisherman.  Damn, this makes me want some clam chowder.

Q: How long have you had your beard this length?
A: It's been growing for 4-5 months and it has never stayed at one length during that time period.

Q: Do the women you date like it or hate it?
A: Like beard, hate face.

Q: Is your beard soft or pokey?
A: At this length... super soft.

Q: What's the funniest thing that's happened involving your beard?
A: Changing employment and creating a savings account because of it...

Q: Would you be willing to shave it off for your significant other?
A: Nope... no significant other would/should ever put anyone in that situation.

Q: Who is your beard idol? Fictional or non-fictional.
A: H.D. Thoreau... google image it. Full neck beard and nothing else... it's brilliant.

Q: What's your beard maintenance regime?
A: Don't touch it, don't cut it, let it go and watch it grow.

Q: Where and with whom do you feel most comfortable being yourself, bearded and all? 
Where and with whom do you not? 
A: While sleeping. Being with ME, Myself and I... I try not to seek or keep uncomfortable company...

Q: Have you noticed people treating you differently with and without the beard? If yes, how so?
A: Yes, a beard is loved by some, hated by few, but RESPECTED BY ALL...


Christopher

This stunner literally stopped me in my tracks halfway through the crosswalk.  Everything I know about Christopher is in this photo.  Even though he was in a hurry, his beard still lingers.


Update: I bumped into mystery man a second time weeks later at a dark bar in a whiskey haze.  He said, "Hey! You're that beard girl."  Then apologized for being so abrupt the first time; he was in the middle of moving to a new place. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

John

Have you ever fantasized about Wolverine (minus the possibility of losing your entrails in the heat of the moment)?  I can't be the only one, right?  Look no further, beard lovers!  John is the embodiment of Paul Bunyan aka my dream man. (Paul, not John.  Relax, sexy single men of the world; keep growing your beards for me!)

I've stalked his face over the past nine months.  I'll never forget that night. I was on a date with someone on this blog.  Is that weird?  Rhetorical.  Lucky for me he works at my favorite local pub and is not afraid of my obsession love for beards.  What else can I say about this mouthwatering burly fish faced thespian?  He's tall as a sycamore tree, forearms like Popeye, sweet as can be.  Come on, Hollywood! What are you waiting for?

Q: How long have you had your beard this length?
A:  This is the shortest amount of time it took me to grow this length.  About four weeks.

Q: Do the women you date like it or hate it?
A: Honestly, I'm not sure the beard is a big factor in the women I date.  What did have a big factor was the handlebar mustache.  Mostly everyone likes the beard.  

Q: Is your beard soft or pokey?
A: I am gonna say soft.  First time anyone has asked me that question.  :-)

Q: What's the funniest thing that's happened involving your beard?
A: People being amazed how fast it grows.  It grows unreasonably fast.  Really.

Q: Would you be willing to shave it off for your significant other?
A: I don't think that would be a problem.  However, if that is the only reason why she likes me, then I need to take a look at the relationship!  

Q: Who is your beard idol? Fictional or non-fictional.
A:  Abe Lincoln.  First person that came to mind.

Q: What's your beard maintenance regime?
A: Very little.  I shave above and below it to make it pop a little more.  Sometimes I will comb it. Mostly I let it hang out there.

Q: Where and with whom do you feel most comfortable being yourself, bearded and all? Where and with whom do you not?
A: There are many times I completely forget about the fact I have the beard.  I am pretty comfortable with it.  I did not feel comfortable with the handlebars or fumanchu.  That thing was ridiculous.  But I only do it for effect.  To get a rise out of people, which works!

Q: What do you do and do well?
A: Mostly everything.  Except keep my house clean apparently.  That shit is dirty.

Q: Are you single or taken?
A: Single.  





Alex

I met Alex at a bar downtown Los Angeles a couple of months ago.  Despite my inebriation I instantly recognized him as a resplendent specimen!  If Papa Bear ate Goldilocks, Mama Bear got remarried and Baby Bear (all grown up) recalled her epic saga over a bowl of porridge...

I digress.

We're not talking about fairy tale reincarnations.  Alex is a writer and musician from Tennessee.  He loves his niece, dark beer and pogonophiles.  He was also extremely nice about meeting yours truly in a strange part of town for this blog.

Q: How long have you had your beard this length?
A:  Some time after 9/11 but before Michael Jackson died.  I’m bad with dates, but great with national tragedies.

Q: Do the women you date like it or hate it?
A:   They love it.  Even if they’ve harbored anti-beard sentiments in the past.  It’s easy to fall victim to all the negative beard stereotypes in the media.   

Q: Is your beard soft or pokey?
A: I have been blessed with many extremely cuddly qualities, including what I believe to be the softest beard in the world.

Q: What's the funniest thing that's happened involving your beard?
A:   It’s a magnet for free drinks and marijuana.  And all I have to do is forge Zach Galifianakis’ signature.

Q: Would you be willing to shave it off for your significant other?
A:  I’m way more likely to shave it off for my own amusement.

Q: Who is your beard idol? Fictional or non-fictional.
A:  Ke$ha.  She’s done more for modern beards than chins have.  She is our most fearless advocate.  Our most tireless champion.  Her true mark will be felt a generation from now, when the tweens grow up, marry bushy beards, and pass on her message of love and hope.

Q: What's your beard maintenance regime?
A:   Shower and shampoo every day.  Conditioner once about once a week.  I trim it up once a month, just to keep my curls nice and springy.  And it likes to listen to Tom Petty in the evening.

Q: Where and with whom do you feel most comfortable being yourself, bearded and all? Where and with whom do you not?
A:   I feel most comfortable being myself around my family, because we’ve known each other for a while now and are comfortable engaging in silly and potentially embarrassing behavior.  But that has nothing to do with facial hair.  If anything, I feel my beard helps me be myself more around strangers.  It’s like a declaration of principles that hangs from my face and occasionally smells of BBQ sauce. 

Q: What do you do and do well?
A:  I can play guitar like Slash.  I’m a good listener.  And I’m exceptional at wrecking cars.

Q: Are you single or taken?
A:  Single.  But I’m totally open to finding someone new to disappoint.